Monday, July 28, 2008

Movie Quickies...




Okay, good lord, taking too effing long to write reviews for all 853 movies I've seen this summer (were you to casually stumble upon this blog during an earnest search for woman and ferret porn, you would swear all I do is watch movies - which you're not far off). So, let me see if I can bang these 4 out real quick before getting to the big one.
(big breath in)

Strangers. Again with the Liv Tyler. Okay, simple setup. A couple, in a house, out in the middle of BFE nowhere, gets a knock at the door at four in the morning. Soon they're attacked by three strangers wearing masks who say nothing. Creepy. Scary. Disturbing. Though the end left some to be desired, it still topped my list as scariest of the year so far. It's a good testament to the film that when it ended, my stomach hurt from being clenched for the whole 90 minutes. B


Wanted. Love it. Love it, love it, love it. And that's not cause it was a terribly great movie - it had problems, but it was funner 'n hell. From the opening shot to the end, I was smiling. Though the Voice-Overs were a tad apparent and tried a bit too hard to get you to like Wesley, it still worked for me. James McAvoy has been the man for a long time (see the Amazing Atonement for a testament), and he continues to shine. Jolie is awesome. Freeman was great. Unexpected twists accompany this unexpected movie. See it. Great stuff. You won't be bored. Wins award for best way to shoot people using another person. B+

Hancock. Man, I hit a streak of pretty decent movies. While critics blasted it, I liked it. I like Will Smith. All in all, he makes entertaining, enjoyable movies. Hancock was original and interesting. I wish they had spent more time mining the psyche of a depressed, jaded superhero, but you might have alienated your audience. You don't go into Bad Boys or I Am Legend to have a deeply intellectual experience. You do so to see Will Smith make funny jokes and shoot stuff. Hancock had some turns and twists that worked against itself, but I still liked. I'd hope for a sequel, though it'd have no point. But, yeah, again, if you're wanting entertainment - check it out. B+

Hellboy II: The Golden Army. Okay, in order to review the movie, you have to separate the movie from the comic. The comic is a dark, magical, mythical, alchemical masterpiece. It mines every legend and fairytale for an entirely unique but addictive story. The movie, is entirely different. It's a bright, effects filled, goofy tale. The first one just didn't click - it didn't know what it was - whether apocalyptic/serious or popcorn movie/spectacle. And it failed in that. The second one, however, is much better (and leaves me wanting a third). Hellboy is having relationship problems. He's having problems at work (he's too loud for a secret agency). That and an ancient elf prince has decided to break the pact between humans and magics and revive an ancient mechanical army to destroy their race. Hilarity (kinda) ensues. The second film has found it's groove. In between Hellboy movies, Guillermo Del Toro decided to become an auteur. Pan's Labyrinth was a bleak, wonderful little movie about escapism and heroics. That movie bought him Hellboy 2. Hellboy goes for humor. Perlman is comfortable in his red shoes (as is the rest of the cast), and though it's a tad goofy for itself at times, it makes up in sheer visual wonderment. Check it out for that alone. That artless bastard, George Lucas (still love you George!), could stand to take a lesson fro Del Toro here. You can use makeup and effects to make amazing visual scenes without a computer in sight. And it's even better. So, yeah, much better than number one. Good for the crowd that enjoys a slightly more odd fare of movie. B+

And that, ladies and gentlemen (or, as I like to say it "Mom and... well, that's about the readership"), is a wrap.

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