Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Results are in for the PDP (Personal Doggie Plan) Year 1

This is where I say I've had enough
No one should ever feel the way I feel now
A walking, open wound
A choking display of bruises
And this is about as simple as I get now

Ahh... nothing starts a new post better than random, seemingly "poetic" lyrics from a band (that no one can probably pinpoint). I think I should credit it to Bob Dylan, just to feel more "artistic." ... But let's be honest - it's Dashboard Confessional (back when they were acoustic, emo, and good).

So, onto the world of Sadie (which is quickly digressing into the "Let Tony expunge whatever he feels like rambling about" blog). Today Sadie was privy to the results of her annual review. See, in pet world, little do the owners know, annually, every pet must go through an evaluation process. The rigorous process is designed for the pets to be evaluated by their peers, superiors, and, ultimately, themselves. In an effort to focus of life progression, animals are then reviewed one on one with their owners to talk about their strengths and areas for improvement.

Over the past three months, the length of time the review process took, Sadie has been graded on all areas of her work. Barking, Pooping, Chewing stuff up, Humping inanimate objects, Drooling, Licking, Sniffing personal areas of strangers and visitors alike - etc. All in all, Sadie was given a "Meets Expectations" in all areas but "Farting when company is over" where she scored an "Exceeds Expectations."

After an in-depth personal review (a One-on-one) with Mommy and Daddy (who, auspiciously aren't married - but I don't believe the term "bastard" is applied the same in the pet kingdom - the bearing and rearing of children out of wedlock (or holy matrimony, if you will) in the animal community is an accepted and welcomed practice), Sadie received a raise in her "chewing shit up" allowance and a longer daily walk. The specific details of her overall increase in DLSP (Doggie-Lovin, Sweet Perks) is confidential and private. It is not something Sadie should discuss, nor does she need to be asked about. We appreciate your courtesy in this manner.

A big congratulations to Sadie for passing her first year as a dog!

Awww..... Sadie loves mommy!

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