Thursday, December 13, 2007

Can you sing with all the voices of the mountain?
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?

Sadie is concerned about global warming. It is an Inconvenient Truth even for dogs. Global Warming is the latest Hollywood cause - spurned by celebrities' publicity agents' desire to have their clients look like concerned and charitable individuals. Every time you see a celebrity nowadays they inadvertently blurt out "Green!" and then go running away, possibly giggling. Often time they'll drive their diesel Hummers to an Avis, rent a Prius, and drive it to the latest award show in an effort to look environmentally-conscious.

Post award show (which uses upwards of millions of watts to light the event), the celebrities travel to the various award show after parties (which, again, use a lot of energy and other resources). Once the festivities die down, the celebs go home to their 10,000 sqft + homes and find time to relax. All alone (or with possibly one adopted child) in a monster of a house.

Now, while the holes in that logic maybe be larger and more abundant than the plot of the Sandra Bullock thriller Premonition, Sadie is not concerned by them.

What Sadie is concerned about is getting a burned bum. With all this talk, she only imagines things getting hotter. And with the almost zealous fervor that celebrities and media personalities declare the impending doom of all existence because of Global Warming, all Sadie can imagine is the entire world bursting into flames and burning to the core.

Which equals burnt bum.

Have you ever sat bare-assed on the sidewalk on an August Arizona day? Ouch. Burnt bum.

So please, people everywhere, calm the hell down. You're scaring a dog. Dogs don't want to have to prance around in fear, always squatting, never sitting, for fear of a scorched ass. If Global Warming concerns you - live like it (if there's only one of you, buy a damn condo not a mansion - think!). Approach life rationally, not like kamikaze crusading for a lost cause. You win more people with sugar than a fiery rear.

For Sadie's sake, people, it's Christmas. May the season of rationality begin!

...because Sadie loves mommy!

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